if you are reading this

this message is for you isa. i don't know how else to say it without being creepy or hurting you or making things worse. so i am just putting it out there.

i was watching the movie "all the bright places" today and thought of you. i often think of you. i think of your laugh, your smile, the look on your face when you are focused on something. how you taught me to curse, your favorite word being "puta madre." i think about how you never responded to my email. i have so many questions for you.

did you block me?

or did you just delete my number?

was it because i uploaded that video on my birthday with emmanuel?

did you think of me on my birthday?

i thought of you on january 13th this year.

do you live in ciudad obregon now?

do you also wonder what i am up to?

do you forgive me?

did i traumatize you?

how is your heart?

how is your mind?

are you also having a sort of spiritual awakening?

are you still with estefania?

are you engaged now?

i miss you. i'm sorry. for everything. i know i fucked up. i miss u being my best friend.